“I tell all new parents the only people who should be around you are those who 1) are helpful 2) don’t give you more to do and 3) you want around,” another said. “My mother also lived far away when my children were young, but when she would come for a visit, she would be HELPFUL, so her visits were a welcome relief,” one Redditor said. And if these trips are all about bonding with her grandchildren, she should spend some time acting as the sole caretaker so her son and DIL can go on a much-needed date. If she comes, she should be making meals, washing dishes, doing laundry, grocery shopping, entertaining the 2-year-old, and more. There is no reason to believe this MIL will lend any sort of a hand, given her track record, and that is unacceptable when visiting a home with a newborn. It’s Time For The MIL To Carry Her Weight.“You don’t need this woman bad mouthing you to your children!” “The only thing I would insist upon is have your husband be the one to draw the line in the sand,” one person said. This DIL does not need to look like the bad guy, nor does she need the stress of confrontation when she is eight months pregnant. The internet agrees that OP’s husband needs to be “painfully blunt” with his mother and set this boundary that she is not staying at his house after the baby is born. However, is a postpartum mom leaving her own house really an option? It’s time for Dad to go to bat for his wife. It’s Time For Hubby To Step Up To The Plate.Hopefully hearing that her DIL will be staying with a friend or the sister will force the MIL to wake up and smell the roses If she won’t find another place to stay, Reddit suggests this soon-to-be mom of two pack her own bags.
Oh, come on! MIL has a free place to stay that doesn’t involve imposing on the parents of a newborn - and she’s selfishly turning it down? As one user said, that behavior is “atrocious.” We have to assume this demanding MIL has overstayed her welcome with her sister too. “To which she replied that she doesn’t want to see her sister. “I’ve also suggested she stay with her sister,” OP wrote. And if she gets sticker shock, one Redditor said that should put the kibosh on the frequency and length of visits.
To which we say, if MIL has the money to spend on flights or a lot of gas every two months, she can splurge on a hotel. However, this MIL insists she can’t afford it. Preferably this MIL realizes she shouldn’t come at all at such an exhausting time - but if she insists on visiting as soon as the baby’s born, OP and her husband have “gently suggested” she get a hotel.
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